Penyakit malas.

Saya memang pemalas. tapi time study week ni, lagi la malas.. haha.. baju malas cuci. nasi malas masak. buku malas baca!! satu ja saya rajin, hehe, tidur!! pengsan~~ satu lagi!! ONline!! haha.. kan ada perkataan ON sana, itulah saya on ja~~ heehe.. 

lama saya x tulis blog, bila mau tulis ja, teringat peristiwa tu(post yg lalu).. kadang2 memang terfikir pasal tu.. bila nampak ahli keluarga dia, really wanted to comfort them, tapi last2 diam-diam ja saya.. fainted.. (tp sebenarnya malas tulis, byk ja alasan..)

menurut saya la kan, malas tu sebenarnya 1 penyakit jangkitan virus. sebab kenapa?? sebab dia tiada ubat untuk diubati, hanya antibody sendiri ja yang boleh lawan penyakit ni.. hehe~~ macam doctor pula.. tapi batul-batul ni.. sia xda tambirang(tipu)..

bila tengok blog urang lain, memang byk gambar. post saya cikit ja. why?? itu sabab saya malas.. ^^ xda obat mau kasi baik ni penyakit, mau palan-palan(perlahan-lahan) tambah kuat saya pnya antibody.. syok juga tulis bahasa melayu ni, terkeluar melayu-sabah saya.. haha!

My childhood friend..

I got a really important presentation today. and I'm preparing for it. then, my best friend / another childhood friend called me.. she doesn't usually call me in the afternoon, I'm sensing something important happened. I am regretting for picking up that phone call. like I don't want to accept the reality. she told me that my our childhood friend was passed away. due to suicidal. what!!?? Impossible..

then I'm confirming it by calling home. my brother said, ya, it happened, and it is on the news.. I was quite rejecting it. impossible, it is impossible. then, my presentation was going not to well.. and I'm frustrated with the news. I slept when I got back to hostel. and I don't dare to find the news bout it.

11.30p.m., mu mom called. I knew she want to talk bout it and I have to pick it up. talking to mom just make me remember all the memories that happened past then. I remember we were playing soil after rain, watching cartoons together... why?? just why?? that is not the solution of it.

with the curiosity, I googled it. and I found his blog. he mentioned bout an hypocrite asshole and post that resembles his suicidal. but, nobody noticed it.

 In this life, there is nothing that you hoped will actually come true as you imagine…

All the frustration I had in these past few weeks had merge my body and soul for the longest period of time since for so long…I only hoped that this will not become my breaking point and I can continue to Contribute..But as matters worsens, I may do things in a suicidal compulsion…I just hoped it won’t be too quickly..Anyway.. anyone that reads this.. If I finally departed.. I wish to make sure my family knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me… Even if it was the worst of me.. that was who I am…God would send me to hell for all that I’ve done but who cares when it was too late anyway…so that will be my good bye and I hoped it wouldn’t be soon but not too long as well… Living is HARD… 

life is precious. he mentioned that he want his family to know who he was. but, can they really accept the fact that their son / brother that they love leaving them.. he good in his study and was the holding a position in his faculty. could it be the asshole pushing him..?? living is real hard, that is life all about. turn back the time so it won't end like this.. reading the articles and news make me feel uncomfortable. I don't want them to criticizes it.

  this thing will mark in our heart. what should I response when I meet his family.. It is like a thorn that stay in our heart and no one want to mention it. pray that his family will heal from this.. and others, Please, dying is not gonna fix the problems.  get help by talk to someone.

It is what it is.

Crap. it is me. totally given out myself in my room for 2 days. I really can be a security of my house. 2days, I'm wasting it like not a big deal of my time and I'll start regretting it by tomoro when school starts. oh ya~ it is what it was. Karma.. I'm a quite a buddhist, ya know.. so, of course I'll be blaming myself in the end of it.

by the way, I'm playing some makeover in between the days. feeling want to share it out the photo but embarrassed bout it. but, still will sharing it out coz I'm just feeling to. haha~~  

 

before

after

it is a distance between before and after. firstly, will be my eyes as they r small and sepet. everyone acknowledged it. secondly, I'll be giving the credit to the clothes. it helped much I confirmed. so, ya, there is no ugly woman, it just to be a lazy woman. but, who can stand to wake up early to make herself nice every morning. well, I can't for this period as a student. Being ordinary is just good enough for me.    

 this sheet of article is goonnaa be long as I'm wrapping up all I want in a sheet. Passion, passion. this dilemma came back for sure. what is the point of I'm feeling aspire-less in things I'm done and not done.  bravery is a subtopic of it. am i will couragely(this word doesn't exist) let it go. 

this whole week will be a screw up week. presentation, assignment, and assignment*** a whole bunch of it. and I'm posting my post at 3.30a.m and feeling like nut coz today is school day!!! things are getting more harder now. Strive for it or just let it go. or just be last minute it'll be.. ahh.. Crapingg..  

夜里

一个人的夜晚，你会想什么呢？
我会回想。
会想念热热的汤~
想我烦恼的事~
我会听歌。
听感动我的歌，然后默默下雨。
后来，默默安慰，一切都会很好~
想家，想朋友，想家里的床。
常常追连续剧，追到不够睡~
上facebook，想看动人的文章。
不虚假，真实的文章~
想想自己变多少。
有没有变成双面人~
想坦荡荡的做人！

矛盾。

人是矛盾的。我的意思是指我啦！功课堆的像山一样高，知道是该做了，可我就偏偏懒得做。到最后，就一晚不睡做功课。然后就后悔，如果我早一点做，结果一定会更好。然后，又肯定的对自己说：下次不要last minute了！！然后又到了另一个学期，事情反复的发生多一次。
人的天性吧，遇到困难就想逃。我也好想。可是哪能呢！所以我会不爽有的逃避的人。。哈哈。。变态死了~~ 想是想啊，但不是逃避。是去走走散散心。大了啊，不能和小孩一样，就只能面对。

Idol!! Mark Zuckerberg.

Who is this freak guy hah?? No offence. I can said he is totally freak since he been able to do the all coding and built up Facebook. He is a computer scientist, a software developer, a CEO , a president and a billionaire.. I am not his follower actually, until, I done some research regarding him about Facebook. Surprisingly, I'm bonded to him. Wee~~  

 the man in the picture, it's him. Well，to know him better. I watched the Social Network. Good film. Perfectly, truly describe who he is in a more visual way.. but, Facebook was initially created because he want to success in front of his ex-gf.. that is just so Wow!
he also been chosen as the people of the year by Time mag. and guess how much he own??... 41billion.. US Dollar.. the value of Facebook on 2010. which, make him the youngest billionaire on the world.. Woohoo~~

His mission: making the world open. Make me admire him more~ Man with vision. everything possible through Facebook, through internet. the greatest invention in this century. he will be more n more success n  influencing in future with Facebook.

新年啊！ It's CNY！！

根地咬的第一个嘉年华！ Keningau 1st CNY Carnival！

我的新年在匆匆忙忙中度过。不过，最重要是和家人一起过的。平凡，简单，但，是幸福，是温暖的。今年，两个愿望实现了。第一，是我终于有一有牌子的AhLong包包了。。hehe~ 第二，梦寐以求的DSLR也有了。Yes！知足啊~

羊年吗~~ hihiY(^_^)Y. 好像它的运程还蛮behbai哦。。 哈哈。桃花会不错，但，小人要防啊！最后，祝大家快乐平安，女的美，男的帅，荷包满满！($ _ $)

My CNY was celebrated in a rush, not holiday mood. Still, I am grateful because I'm celebrating it with my family. the celebration was simple but meaningful. One family gathered together only once a year. Yahh.. It's satisfied me. this year is a dream come true year.. haha.. let me tell'ya y.. 1st, I finally got my a bit branded "Ah Long" bag.. hehe. 2nd, the DSLR that I dreamed day and night, I finally have it. but, it still at home coz I'm not the one that buying it. ╰(￣▽￣)╮..

My zodiac is meakkk... Goat.. and the luck seem not bad this year!  Yeah!! make a year Geng! At last, I wished everyone happy happy, healthy healthy, girls more lenglui, boys more liangzhai n wallet full full!  hah!冏rz